Hold Me

[Cody Nash]

Hold Me
By: Cry









Fuck these crying kids,
...cheating isn't even the half of it.



Listen...
baby, please talk sense... please save me,
could you bring me home and let me see it safely...
this bleeding's crazy... my mouth needs dried up, and -
I got shit I never seen comin' out of my stomach,
and I'm upset... did I ruin your fuck-fest?
were his balls nice, did you break silence and bump heads?
did ya fuck 'em all night,
...or just share bunk beds?
shhhh...
I'm mad, but too much stress and I'll be what's dead...
so I'll shut up then... baby, I wanna get my heart to slow,
stop drivin' so fast, hold up! wait for that car to go --
-- past... damn, that shit was close...
the windshield ain't somethin' I wanna get to know,
why are you shiftin' low, what's this hidden place?
Ow, bitch! why'd you hit the brakes?!?
I clipped my face...
that falling glimpse of ya legs got me hard though,
before smashin' carpet in back of the Monte' Carlo...
it's an awfully hard floor, the interior glows with the holes,
feelin' like a livin' sculpture with my nose in the mold,
so fuckin' old... fries and nuggets from a month ago --
are right in my face... and I can't find more to say,
I'm thinkin' - this ain't the right time or the place!
we been fightin' for days... I can't get over it...
my face is as droopy as a Doberman,
halfway sober and... we all need help so I holler for mine,
but it's no use, I'm light in the trees like the hollywood sign,
still she's divine, and that crazy laugh is sexy...
pulling me out the ride, she winds back to get me...
black and heavy, now my eye looks like the old Queen Latifah,
never thought she'd only be a cheater...
I was pleased to meet her, hoped she was "the one"...
now the tips in my mouth as she holds me up with a gun.
she still is my one... my only; hurt and lonely,
besides her not caring, what's worse is knowing...
my tactic's love, while that barrel of her's is choking,
...and still all I wanted before I died was for her to hold me.







Sometimes love's paved gold...
...and sometimes "Love" is just a one way road.

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...lf-379564.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ix-379257.html

[AlphaMetric]

this was good cry.... the emotion was strong on this and good vocab throughout.... your flow was very good on this..... love the multies too... the way you presented this piece was origenal but the topic wasnt so good job on that, loved the rhymecheme.... the imagery was loaded in this, it was everywhere... all in all, i liked this very much man... keep on writing... if possible, maybe feed a piece of mine you see in the om... i wont put a link as i should have a few om done this week, well i hope.... maybe we should collab sometime... peace

[Cody Nash]

thanks, mate.




I'll try'n get to one of your pieces later... I'm without internet now,
and I've got limited time online atm..

[Vincent Maestro]

this was one of my favorites of yours as far as the flow man....the multies and flow was off-the-wall....

-- past... damn, that shit was close...
the windshield ain't somethin' I wanna get to know,
why are you shiftin' low, what's this hidden place?
Ow, bitch! why'd you hit the brakes?!?
I clipped my face...
that falling glimpse of ya legs got me hard though,
before smashin' carpet in back of the Monte' Carlo

its like I could hear you saying it,,,you should put this in audio and rhyme it to like...Eminem's "Role Model" beat....shit would be crazy,

[Cody Nash]

haha thanks...

[Born To Kill]

This reminded me alot of Eminem's "Kim"...

Where he kills her and shoves her in the trunk...

Especially the part,
so I'll shut up then... baby, I wanna get my heart to slow,
stop drivin' so fast, hold up! wait for that car to go --
-- past... damn, that shit was close...
the windshield ain't somethin' I wanna get to know,
why are you shiftin' low, what's this hidden place?
Ow, bitch! why'd you hit the brakes?!?
I clipped my face...

Sounded alot like,
Bullshit you bitch, don't fucking lie to me.
What the fuck's this guys problem on the side of me?
Fuck you asshole, yeah, bite me.

In fact, the whole thing had a reverse "Kim" to it...

Em caught her cheating...in your rhyme, same premise...
Only, she appears to be totally in control despite what she was caught doing or supposedly doing. Hmm. Interesting. She's driving, slamming him around the car...

Great metaphor if the shit isn't actually happening...if it's a parallel of their relationship...
Very clever...but very clever either way.

Nice work.

Peep the shit Jonathon and I wrote.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rn-379922.html

Thanks!

Peace

[Ren.]

yeah, guess it did kinda have some flashbacks to the em. song.. but this was a piece of its own. So lets not get carried away. This was pretty cool concepts.. there was alot of emotion and you have a way of writing that puts you into the story. Vocab was on point.. imagery was excellent. flow was nice aswell. Nice little piece here. this is the first piece I've read on this site, and it didn't dissapoint.

rtf if you want to. if not I'll look for your next piece kid, keep writing

[antology]

Very nice cry. Its always good reading one of your peices. Any way this peice was dope, loved the topic, it was very unique compared to everyone elese tryin to do this sort of peice.Nice vocab and multis. Flow was on point the whole peice which made it a very good read. Imagery was very strong on this peice, which sucked me into reading it. Overall very good peice man keep it up. Ill be looking for your next peice.

[The Prestige]

This was a dope piece. As I started reading, I was thinking to myself ... oh god another lame "I caught the woman cheating" theme. But as I continued on reading I realized it wasn't lol. It all started reminding me of "Kim" by of course Em...but this had your own style to it. It all flowed really well together. Also I enjoyed it a lot more because of your well placed multi's made everything flow naturally and not forced. It painted a very visual scenery for me, overall awesome drop! I'm looking forward to more from you.

"still she's divine, and that crazy laugh is sexy...
pulling me out the ride, she winds back to get me...
black and heavy, now my eye looks like the old Queen Latifah,
never thought she'd only be a cheater...
I was pleased to meet her, hoped she was "the one"...
now the tips in my mouth as she holds me up with a gun."
My favorite part.

[-Shift-]

This was cool..good topic and good vocab..multis and flow was on point. Not too much was done to it which makes it better.
Good use of emotion, and overall i liked this a lot.

[Cody Nash]

nice... thanks

[Steven William]

I read this a couple days back, and from what I remember..
..fuck it I'll read it again it was good.


yeah, it's better than I remembered actually. The flow in this drop was so on point man, I wanna hear this on a beat so I can sing a long with the shit, it just sounds so dope in my head. The take on the topic was nice, kind of original so you get points for that, the multis were on point also, and the rhyme scheme melted in my mouth not in my hands. haha

I wouldn't call it DOPE, or HOF - but it was definitely a good read, above average by far, but I know you're better than this, just work to perfect things before you drop them to the public, you know?


Please return the favor on my "In the Fast Lane" drop

[Cody Nash]

I did take my time on this hoe. but thanks for the feed lol.

[_Lyrics]

yeah cry I read this when you dropped it, wanted to drop some feed on it. the sequences of imagery were tight, and you kept a smooth read going for me, no rough spots in the flow and the story molded together nicely, a crazy bitch ready to kill you, after you caught her cheating and the title was a good fit for it, the connection was a bit hazy, seemed like he had no balls in the relationship to let her be ready to shoot the bastard at the end lol. there were some nice bars in there I was feeling like the hollywood and monte carlo lines, very visually involved piece cry, stay up.